Before I start talking about how I came from being a person who avoids mirrors to someone who could totally rock a full-body photo selfie, let me get this info to you. Body confidence is a skill to learn! Everyone can learn to celebrate their body! If someone had just told me this when I was still that insecure girl in high school, I think I might have gained body confidence far earlier in my life. Now that we have that clear, I will try to explain to you as short as I can, the wisdom I have gained from my body confidence journey.

Believe and really understand that confidence is a skill

When I say skill, it means it is something a person could learn. I am telling you this because I learned body confidence. My memory of my lack of body confidence goes way back to kindergarten. I was really uncomfortable in my own body. I was especially uncomfortable when I was made to wear clothes that revealed my arms, shoulders, legs, and belly. It was a struggle for me all throughout my high school life too.

What changed? I learned the confidence and I forced my way into it. Weirdly, what I did was just put on a spaghetti strap top and just faked being comfortable with it. Funny thing, I learned most people do not even notice that I was wearing a spaghetti strap top. Those who noticed were people whose opinions I cared about like close family and friends and they actually complimented me.

My takeaway from this experience is that it is in fact true that I can fake it till I become it. “Faking confidence” actually means to just start acting like you don’t care what people think even if what they think actually terrifies you. Next, you keep repeating this act, then, get used to the experience and eventually learn to be really good at it so that you do not have to pretend anymore. That sounds to me like I was training myself to become confident. You can do it too!

Understand the evolutionary purpose of why you look the way you do

Yes, that title was not a clickbait. 😂 My body and your body are a result of a thousand generations of adaptations. There is a reason why we have straight hair, curly hair, fair skin, or coffee-colored skin. Every generation is just adapting to its environment. But how did this information help my confidence? I took it as an opportunity to make the most of my body’s unfair advantage.

I have long straight hair and I do wish sometimes that it was curly and had more volume. But the advantage of straight hair is it actually keeps me warm. So in the colder season, I just let my hair down and I feel instantly warm. Because of this, I got to appreciate my straight hair more and I became forgiving about it in hotter seasons. My hair is just not built for hot weather.

Incorporating the habit of constantly reminding myself that confidence can be learned and equipping myself with the knowledge of why my body looks the way it does from an evolutionary perspective was a very helpful way of seeing myself with a more grateful attitude rather than the constant complaining of why I look the way I do. I realized, there is actually a lot more to thank for.

Discover communities that look like you

Acknowledging our physical traits is a very good start to body confidence. When I was finally acknowledging my fat body without judgment, it broke a lot of walls. But sometimes it is really hard to create that inner acceptance. What helped me was finding a community that looked like me. Instead of punishing myself by comparing myself to skinny girls and telling myself I do not deserve good things because I do not look like them, I instead sought a community that celebrated life, and their bodies, and it was highly important that they looked like me.

This is where social media can become your ally. Start following people who look like you. Fat girl communities, Brown Girls, etc. Believe me, there are niches for it all. It just takes a bit of digging. I warn you though, do this, not to promote hate for people who look the opposite of you, i.e. dissing skinny girls because they have skinny girl privilege. It is not a good path to take. Exercise instead, tolerance, acceptance, and good vibes. We are all struggling internally to fully accept ourselves so exercise the same level of kindness and acceptance to everyone, not just yourself.

A bonus to following people who look like you, you learn fashion tips, styling tips, life tips, self-care tips unique to your body type and so much more! This is not just about confidence but really about finding yourself and what works for you so that you can become the best version of yourself who will in turn inspire others. It is a beautiful chain reaction!! 😉😉

Conclusion

Body confidence is a lifelong journey. This is what I have discovered in my years of searching for self-acceptance and finding my place in life. There are so many roads you can take and the ones I shared here are just tiny dots to the myriads of body confidence path. These tips that I wrote are just something that I wanted to share because they made a lot of difference for me but I’m forever looking for more ways to help me love myself more and more. I would love to hear about your own confidence journey and maybe I can learn something from you too that I can apply to my own path. Let’s start the conversation through the comments below!